Adoption Process Milestones for Birth Mothers

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Deciding to place your child up for adoption is just the first step of many in the adoption process. Birth mothers may be wondering what the different steps and milestones are. It is important to know that your adoption agency will be there to guide you through the whole process and you have the right to change your mind at any time. There are specific milestones to reach during pregnancy, during delivery and post delivery.

Adoption Milestones During Pregnancy

When you first learn of your pregnancy, you may not feel the same excitement that other women feel. You may not be ready to be a parent or may be in a difficult situation( homeless, unemployed, lack of support) that is not stable for a child. It may take some time for you to research your options and decide that adoption is the right choice for you and your baby.

Contact an Adoption Professional

Once you decide adoption is the right choice for you, you will want to reach out to an adoption agency. You can also choose to reach out to them while you are still in the decision process to get more answers to your questions. For birth mothers who are in unstable environments, A Birth Mother’s Choice can assist them with housing, utility and medical support during their pregnancy. Contacting an adoption professional is the first milestone in the process once you have chosen adoption for your child.

Discuss and Select Type of Adoption

Your case worker will work with you to discuss your hopes and goals for your child. They will help you determine what type of adoption will work best for you now and in the future. There are three types of adoption: open, closed and hybrid (semi open). Each one comes with their own benefits and drawbacks. Every woman is different and there is no wrong adoption type. Each birth mother must choose what will work best for her, the adoptive family and baby.

Select Adoptive Family

The next milestone in the adoption process is to select the adoptive family. Adoptive families go through extensive background checks and are thoroughly vetted. Depending on the adoption type you chose, you may have some contact with the adoptive family or not at all. If you choose an open adoption, you may have the opportunity to ask the adoptive family specific questions and begin building a bond with them early on. You also have the right not to communicate with the adoptive family or select which family your child is placed with. Your privacy is valued and your wishes respected.

Adoption Milestones During Delivery & Post Delivery

The day of delivery is a big day for all parties involved. There are a lot of emotions between birth mothers and adoptive parents. Knowing what to expect can help birth mothers and adoptive parents balance their emotions and be better prepared for this life changing event.

Preparing for Delivery of Your Baby

In advance of your delivery day you will want to work with your counselor on an adoption plan. Your adoption plan may change depending on the circumstances the day of, but all involved will do their best to stick with your wishes and your plan.

This adoption plan will lay out your wishes for delivery including:

  • Do you want to see & hold your baby?
  • Would you like alone time with your baby?
  • Would you like pictures taken with you and your baby?
  • Who would you like in the room with you (family & friends)?
  • Do you prefer natural birth or are ok with epidural?
  • Would you like to have adoptive parents in the room?

Relinquishment & Consent

The final step in the adoption process, to make everything legal, is the relinquishment and consent. Until you have signed the required documents, the adoption is not complete. While every state law is different, in most states, once you sign relinquishment papers you can no longer change your mind. The contact and communication you have with your child and the adoptive family all depends on which type of adoption plan you chose early on in the process.

Knowing the expectations in the adoption process can help you mentally plan and prepare for placing your child up for adoption. Ask all of the questions you need to ensure that adoption is the right choice for you.

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