FAQs From Birth Mothers About Adoption
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An unplanned pregnancy comes with many questions and concerns for birth mothers. Providing these answers and detailed information can help birth mothers decide if adoption is the right choice for her and her child. These are the most common and important questions that should be asked when considering adoption.
Questions About Choosing to Give Baby Up for Adoption
- What things should you consider before putting a child up for adoption?
Consider your financial situation and the amount of support you will have to raise this child. Determine the lifestyle you would like for your child and whether or not you feel you will be able to provide that for them.
- Will I regret choosing adoption for my child?
It is normal to wonder if you will regret placing your child for adoption. We do everything to ensure that you are making the right decision for your baby, especially in choosing the adoptive family. In our experience, finding the right family for you will help put your mind at ease.
- Does the birth father have any rights?
This varies from state to state and depends on the level of involvement from the birth father during the pregnancy. We can help you understand the laws of your state and your rights.
- Do I need to tell the baby’s father?
Every state varies, but typically adoption agencies are required to attempt to contact the birth father to let him know that you are pregnant and choose an adoption plan. If you don’t know who the father is or you don’t know how to reach him you can still do an adoption. In our experience, fathers cooperate and allow you to proceed with the adoption.
- My family isn’t supportive. What should I do?
Having a family that isn’t supportive of adoption can be very difficult. We offer relocation programs so that you can go somewhere else temporarily if you feel like you need to. Our case workers will work with you and can provide resources in your area as well to help you.
Questions About Selecting Adoptive Parents
- Will I be able to choose the adoptive family and how are they chosen?
Families who have undergone rigorous background checks will be presented to you to choose from. The choice is yours unless you want a family to be chosen for you.
- What do birth mothers look for in adoptive parents?
It is important to consider family background, family culture, family dynamics and location. You may prefer a family with several children or a family of a particular religious background. Ultimately consider how you foresee your child being raised.
- Are there qualifications that a couple must meet to adopt?
Every couple must complete a home study and background checks. The home study is a supervised visit from a social worker where the couple is interviewed to determine suitability to be adoptive parents and includes making sure the house is safe. After the adoption, there are supervised visits as well.
Questions About Financial Support
- How do I pay for medical expenses during my unplanned pregnancy?
We will work with you to get on government insurance and the adoptive parents will be responsible for medical expenses throughout the pregnancy and at birth.
- Can I receive financial assistance?
Depending on the state, yes. We are able to provide some form of financial assistance typically for rent, utilities, transportation, and food.
- Will choosing adoption cost me money?
Absolutely not. The adoptive family will hire a lawyer for you and in most cases you will qualify for some form of financial assistance to help with medical and living expenses.
Questions About the Adoption Process
- What are the different types of adoption?
There are three main types of adoption: open, closed & hybrid (combination of the two). Your case worker will work with you to help you select the adoption type that is best for you.
- Do I need to provide any information?
Yes. Working with one of our caseworkers, we will gather some basic information about you to help us match you with potential adoptive families. We will also collect proof of pregnancy. Our case workers will walk you through that process.
- How long do I have to change my mind?
This varies state by state. Some states have a grace period of a week after delivery to change your mind. Your attorney will guide you in this process.
- Will I need to go to court?
Under normal circumstances, you are not required to appear in court. In most states, but not all, birth mothers do not have to go to court but if you live in a state that does require it, then your attorney will go with you.
- How often will I talk to the adoptive family before the adoption?
This is up to you and the family. It can be as often as you’d like. We recommend getting to know the family through short, weekly calls, but you can also text or use video chat. This all depends on what you want and how comfortable you are with contact.
- Will I be able to see my baby in the hospital?
Yes. This is your baby until the papers are signed. You can spend as much or as little time with the baby in hospital as you need before signing the papers.
- Can I pick my baby’s name?
You have the right to name your child on the birth certificate. Once the adoption is legalized, a new birth certificate is issued and the name can be changed. If you feel strongly about a name, one common strategy we recommend with our adoptions is to have the birth parent(s) to pick one name (usually the middle) and the adoptive parents pick the other.
- Can I have pictures of my baby?
If you select an open or hybrid adoption, we will work with you to find a family that will send you pictures.
- Will I get to see my baby after the adoption?
This depends on the type of adoption plan you and the adoptive parents agreed to. An open adoption could include anything from letters, receiving pictures, or having visits. If you don’t want contact, you can do a closed adoption.
- When do I give my baby to the adoptive parents?
This typically happens in the hospital after the baby is born.